Posted on September 1, 2025

Life has a way of testing our joy. Sometimes it’s a careless word, a dismissive attitude, or the constant demands of the day that make joy feel fragile, as though it can vanish in an instant. We describe these moments as having our joy “stolen.” But joy cannot be stolen—it can only be surrendered. The challenge lies in how we respond. Do we give away joy by letting negativity take root, or do we guard it by choosing new ways of being? Guarding joy requires intentional choices, fresh perspectives, and the courage to use new keys for new doors. Because old keys cannot unlock new doors.

Understanding the Nature of Joy and Surrender

Joy isn’t determined by perfect circumstances—it is shaped by how we process experiences. When someone “steals” joy, what’s actually happening is:

Their words or actions disrupt our peace.

We give their response weight, allowing it to overshadow what grounds us.

Our focus shifts away from stability and toward distraction.

In reality, joy itself remains intact. What changes is our posture—whether we hold onto joy or surrender it.

Recognizing Joy Thieves

Certain behaviors tend to drain joy more than others. These are patterns we encounter often:

The Chronically Negative – quick to complain, slow to see good.

The Comparison Dealer – measuring your progress against someone else’s.

The Controller – pushing expectations, leaving little room for freedom.

The Energy Leech – taking more than they give, leaving you depleted.

The Insecure Critic – pointing out flaws to mask their own discomfort.

The Chaotic Spirit Carrier – bringing drama, gossip, or unnecessary tension.

Awareness of these patterns helps us prepare for them without losing peace.

Practical Techniques for Guarding Joy

Practical tools help us respond differently when joy feels threatened. By embedding these strategies into daily life, we protect our atmosphere and cultivate steadiness. Research supports this: intentional practices like gratitude, reframing, and small moments of appreciation can actively build resilience and joy, even in stressful environments. ¹

Here are some ways to build joy into your everyday rhythm:

1. Redirect Negativity: When conversations spiral into complaint, redirect them by asking: “What’s one thing going well right now?” Shifting focus to small positives can reduce stress and increase well-being in workplaces and relationships. ²

2. Refuse Comparison: When faced with comparison, step out of the competition. Instead of measuring your worth against others, celebrate their progress while affirming your own. Studies on “appreciative joy” highlight that learning to delight in others’ successes reduces envy and strengthens resilience. ³

3. Boundary Micro-Practice: Guarding joy often comes down to one clear sentence: “I need to do this in a way that feels right for me.” Small statements of boundary protect your energy without hostility. Leaders who practice boundary-setting report greater satisfaction and less emotional exhaustion. ²

4. Gratitude Grounding: When joy feels distant, name three things you’re grateful for in the moment. Gratitude practices consistently improve mood, attention, and emotional balance across professional and personal settings. ¹

5. Release Ritual: At the end of the day, take two minutes to mentally release what drained you. Picture setting it down and walking away. Even brief, intentional practices like joy meditation reduce stress and boost life satisfaction. ⁴

Each technique strengthens your ability to notice what pulls at your joy and to respond with clarity instead of surrender.

Cultivating Peace and Clarity Through New Keys

Old keys: resentment, reactivity, people-pleasing, keep us stuck in cycles that don’t open anything new. To walk through new doors, we need new keys:

Joy – choosing to delight even in small things.

Peace – holding calm in the face of disruption.

Clarity – seeing what matters and letting go of what doesn’t.

Release – refusing to carry what weighs you down.

Resilience – bouncing back instead of breaking.

These keys are not one-time choices but daily practices. Research confirms that when individuals cultivate joy intentionally, they not only improve personal well-being but also enhance relationships, creativity, and resilience. ³

Moving Forward

Guarding joy is less about avoiding difficulty and more about navigating it differently. With intentional practices, we can refuse to surrender what makes life vibrant.

Old keys cannot unlock new doors. This season, choose the new keys that anchor you in joy, root you in peace, and prepare you for the opportunities ahead.

Looking for Support?

Guarding joy and setting boundaries doesn’t have to be a solitary journey. At The Ezer Roots Collective, coaching and consulting are designed to help you align your life with clarity, peace, and purpose. Consider beginning with a Quick Care Session—a focused, one-on-one consultation designed to bring immediate clarity and balance. These sessions get to the heart of what matters most, giving you practical tools to guard your joy, set healthy boundaries, and move forward with intention.

Offered through Ezer Roots Collective, Quick Care Sessions provide personalized guidance tailored to your season of life. Whether you’re navigating transition, pursuing growth, or simply seeking space to reset, these consultations help align your actions with your core values and long-term vision.

Notes

Terry A. Wolfer and David Pooler, “Finding Joy in Social Work: Practical Strategies,” Social Work, 2022.

Jonathan H. Westover, “Finding Joy as a Manager—Even on Bad Days,” Human Capital Leadership Review, 2024.

Jenny Gu and Xinyue Zeng, “Appreciative Joy: A Critical Review of Empirical Research,” Journal of Happiness Studies, 2023.

Xinyue Zeng and Fang Wang, “Heart of Joy: Evaluating the Effect of Appreciative Joy Meditation Training,” Mindfulness, 2018.

Bibliography

Gu, Jenny, and Xinyue Zeng. “Appreciative Joy: A Critical Review of Empirical Research.” Journal of Happiness Studies, 2023.

Westover, Jonathan H. “Finding Joy as a Manager—Even on Bad Days.” Human Capital Leadership Review, 2024.

Wolfer, Terry A., and David Pooler. “Finding Joy in Social Work: Practical Strategies.” Social Work, 2022.

Zeng, Xinyue, and Fang Wang. “Heart of Joy: Evaluating the Effect of Appreciative Joy Meditation Training.” Mindfulness, 2018.